My Top 10 Movies of 2011

Face it, I came to terms that I did not cry this year in the theater.

#10. Fright Night (2011)

The year that Collin Farrell could do no wrong. Although I did like "Horrible Bosses", on the second viewing of it, I felt Farrell was the only character who stood out. Sorry Mutherfucker Jones was simply ok.

#9. Win Win 

I love Paul Giamatti. Last year we had "Barney's Version". Win Win is dry and may lack to much real life for some who may want the "Harry Potter" mojo.

#8. Rango

I haven't liked a CGI/Cartoon since, "Monsters Inc". Now "Rango" is edgy for a kid movie. From the spaghetti western themes to an evil (looking) bad guy who appears at the end. 

#7. Life in a Day

If you are ever wondering if there is a movie that is breathtaking, real, and defines your life to be not as bad as it seems, then watch this movie. Everyone everywhere should watch this film that was shot on one. You will travel the world in one day.

#6. Everything Must Go

2011 must be the year of Dramadies. Theres nothing wrong with it. Will Farrell is amazing. 

#6. We Need to Talk About Kevin

....and the winner is.....John C Reilly for 2011 beating out buddy Will Farrell. With "We Need To..", the weird odd ball movie "Terri", and "Carnage" Reilly is by far a smooth actor with major chops. 

#5. Dale and Tucker vs. Evil

Yes! This is the perfect horror/comedy. Also perfect for those who don't like horror movies, but like laugh to at stupids. 

#4. Drive

Good example of how silence and pauses create an intense atmosphere...................... "wheres......... my...........scorpion..............jacket?" See! Ok, well I have chiseled abs too, but they are just coated for the winter time.

#3. Source Code

From the director of "Moon" comes this is a great movie, better than "Super 8". I actually hated "Super 8". 

#2. Midnight in Paris

Been awhile since I really enjoyed a Woody Allen film. Seinfeld moment,"but whats the deal with Rachel McAdams, bleh........

#1. Cedar Rapids

John C. Reilly is the man of 2011. I laughed my ass off. This movie may not be for everyone, but it was truly for me. I have no problems giving a comedy a #1 spot, as long as it did its job. 

Preparing Yourself for Future Blogs from The Careless Mind

Ok..........
In this section, you will learn how to prepare yourself for future Careless Mind blogs.

Please follow the steps as I lay them out for you. If you can't handle this, then please shut off your computer, you pussy.

STEP 1 -

Breath in through your nose and slowly exhale through your mouth.

STEP 2 -

Picture yourself swallowing a slightly melted cube of butter down your throat. While your teeth are super glued together, your gag reflexes are in full motion.

STEP 3 -

While still entertaining step two at the same time, I need you to pretend to ride a bike. This is a special bike. In fact the seat is now a recently sharpened #2 pencil. It slides carefully
into you as you sit. Be careful not to sneeze or chuckle for the #2 pencil will easily poke
against your inners as you ride along a rocky path down hill.

STEP 4 -

This is by the most important step. Remember butter in throat and #2 pencil jammed in your ass. Cut your eye lids of with a pair of dull garden shears as you view season three of Designing Women on repeat.

STEP 5 -

Wash, rinse, piss fire, and repeat.

Now you should be fully prepared.
If that's not painful enough, please continue to read the future blogs when posted.

My Top 13 Summer Songs......some new, some old, these are just some I'd like to share.

My Top 13 Favorite Summer Songs

13. Face to Face - Blind

12. The Shins - Sleeping Lessons

11. Collective Efforts - Doin' Alright

10. Aceyalone - All For You

9. Koop - Come To Me

8. 311 - I'll Be Here Awhile and Rub a Dub

7. Florence and the Machines - Dog Days Are Over

6. Surreal and the Sound - Place to Be

5. Vampire Weekend - Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa

4. Butcher the Bar - Leave Town Tonight

3. The Avalanches - Since I Left You

2. We Were Promised Jetpacks - Quiet Little Voices

1. Handsome Boy Modeling School - Breakdown

Carelessmind Batter

I like drama.
I like fiction
I like bums hanging out in the kitchen.

The thrill of driving of a cliff while slamming your breaks in mid-air may seem pointless. However if you were traveling with Boxcar Willie and you were in wearing a wind breaker the fall would hurt just as bad.

Why don't zombies just eat other zombies. Case closed.

A guy walks into a bar. He see a little kid playing the piano. He walks up to the little kid and says, "Hey Kid!".
The kids says,"I'm 8!"

For the fun of it throw a few Gobstoppers in a bowl of Peanut M&Ms.

The official alarm clock song  Slayer - " Angel of Death"

Wal-Mart shopping list:
-Butter
-Sanka
-Bufferin
-Shotgun shell (slugs)
- House dress
- baby socks

Ladies never flash us your bra. If I wanted to see a bra, I'd go to Macys

How a Careless Mind Thinks

Let me first start out by saying, I don't hate. I just tend to dis dis dis dislike a few things, a lot. I think people in general are good. However some tend to do some damage in their lives. Some of it is repairable and some of it is just irreversible. The only things I can honestly say I hate are my idiot mistakes. They make me feel discouraged and careless at times. A feeling of hopelessness lingers over at times too. In these times I catch myself starring. If a wall is painted the color blue. I ask myself, "Why is this the color blue", or "Is it just amazing that I can see". Then I start thinking about everything that is blue. Captain Crunch wears a blue hat.
Captain Caveman, Captian Crunch, and I were riding the Greyhound to Smipiko Valley. A (bob) grimm dark place haunted with a few wanna-be ghosts. Captain Caveman had a runny noes so Captain Crunch took the liberty of caring the Caveman's club and a bottle of Madd Dogg 50/50 to an abandon Wienerschnitzel building. I tipped the bus driver two dinner mint and used copy of Roseanne season 3 on DVD. The one where Darline gets her first period. Then the bus driver told me to watch out for knife jacking pumpkins.
"In May, it's so blue today?"
"Yes, all year my friend", the Greyhound bus driver slammed the door closed.
The bus very slowly drove off a cliff a few seconds later. I quickly checked my pockets for my opened pack of Fun Dip. Praying to God the bus dust did not make it into my cherry portion. There was a hint of monkey in the air as I caught up to the Captains and swirled my crazy stick in the cherry powder. We walked into Smipiko Valley. Captain Caveman was not looking good, it may be the altitude that is effecting him. Caveman was currently recovering from many years of rage and a ridiculous porn addiction. I was puzzled with Captain Crunch, he on one hand was quiet, never seemed to change his clothes and his blue hat. I was dieing to wear it, or at least try it on once. I was walking ahead of the captains to get a view of the valley ahead. In the distance I saw a Blockbuster. Now I dis dis dis dis dis like BB and its outrageous prices. The way they try and sell, sell, sell, sell, you old Bonkers Fruit candy. When the only thing you went in for is a copy of something they only have 3 copies for and its the first release week for that copy! SO it's option B get the next thing. When asked, did you find everything ok, and your reply is NO. It shuts up the employee real fast. Blockbuster is a company that should be gone soon. As a former employee I look forward to that day. Viva La Blockbuster. Although on the bright side it will be safe for Captain Caveman to go in. Blockbuster has no adult sections.  I still have my blue name tag from Blockbuster. I worked in the Las Vegas store with, we will call him Redskins. He was a Cowboys hater, and I hated the Redskins. On a Thursday night at 10pm, when there were two hours before closing we would -

• Run next door to Krispy Kream and eat donuts
• Throw around a football in the store and knock down movies
• play Scar Face on the display TVs
• take turns taking naps in the break room
• I was a cool careless boss
• We would set up fake accounts with bad ass names

More things I should not confess here too. When I moved back to Reno months later I was told it was turned into an Auto Zone or Long John Silvers. MMMMMMM I must say I have a weak spot for a few things. One of them being Long John Silvers. I know the place reeks of old people and vinegar, but the hush puppies and chicken planks. Oh man that is some good shit. Although the last I had this deliciousness, I was in Denver. I went through the drive through window, ordered, went home and set it down on the table. I do like clean hands. Did I forget to tell you I smile before I dive into my Long John Silvers? Well, I do. I am washing my hands in my bright yellow bathroom with the stupidest grin on my face, awww yeah LJS is just moments away from my mouth. I turn the water off, dried my hands, and I as I turned my body the top half turned and went forward. However my feet were a few seconds behind and as they were catching up, my right pant leg was caught. This caused the bottom cupboard door to open and my left had nowhere to go. I fell over the cupboard door. I fell so fast my elbow slammed into the door jam then spinning my body in a small circle. A second later the top half of my body is laying in the hallway. I can'yt move my arm.  The scent of LJS is echoing down the hallway and I can't move to get up. Sampson the bulldog comes up to me licks my face, farts then leaves. The fart blocked the mouth watering chicken planks for a few minutes. This I thought was the kindest fart. Sampson knew I was in pain and hungry, he cured my hunger. About an hour later I was on my feet and sadly my LJS was cold. I threw it down the garbage disposal, put on Cat Stevens, held my head low and flipped the switch. However the garbage disposal was broken. Somehow it became a graveyard for shot glasses. I am really not a fan of this color blue, I don't mind midnight blue, but come on man! Blue? Ok just for the record all babies are ugly, until they can walk or start talking or start reading the Wall Street Journal. And you can get the Wall Street Journal delivered to your house for one flat rate. I know this because I learned it from you. We can dance if we want too. I was asked the question,"Would you like to be invisible or fly"? I think I would like to just float around. Like a few inches off the ground. This would allow me to chew gum and walk at the same time safely. I could fall or jump off of cliffs or buildings. I haven't quite figured how I could sit-float and move at the same time though. I guess I need to learn how to float first. OK my eyes are telling my mind they are heavy and that they are so fucking special. Good Night

A Break in the Action

My old roommate and friend Mr. JP a true Miami Dolphins fan. Him and I used to live in the ghetto or the heart of Sparks, NV. We were in a small two bedroom apartment. The swamp box was and is still located behind a Kmart. Between the Kmart and our rat trap was an alley loading dock area. A normal trashy area for truckers to unload future Blue Light specials. However after the sun went down a bright yellow safety light would shine in the alley. This would draw a shitload of hooligan bugs near. The kind of bugs that wore their pants around their knees. The kind who made up words and never completed a full sentence.

"Jah, wudup fool"
"Me and skee gots you"
"Hunk down"
Man, that boy, shiiiit"
*bang* *bang*

At this point I would move my bed from away from the wall. Although I would still peak outside through the venetian blinds from time to time. Scuzz and utter discuss was all that went through my head. Unstructured conversation, gun pops, and the occasional fist fights were never really mentioned in the brochure. Also not the in the brochure to this armpit apartment was a little Hispanic boys named George. This little afro charmer does not knock on the door. He bursts right in, hanging on to the door knob and wall. His giant head of hair and his goofy smile.

"Jew got any popsicles", as he sway back and forth.

This poor little boy said "Jew" instead of "You".  Although we were warned every time he came by, as his afro poof was only thing bouncing pass the dinning room window. I made the mistake of actually buying popsicles one time. I had this cheap big ass bag of popsicles chilling out in the freezer. One day the bobbing hair went by the window, and two seconds later.

"Jew got....
"In the freezer"

I sat on the couch. George grabbed a chair, scooted it over to the freezer (old fridge, freezer on top), and mind you his goofy ass grin was huge at this point. I realized sometime later he just had really big teeth. He climbed on my chair with his shoes on and tried to open the freezer door. The door to the freezer stuck a lot due to an exploding Pepsi can. So I am a fan of kids doing stupid things. This was a moment I can replay in my mind for life. George gripping the freezer door attempting to yank it open. His tongue dangling out from between his teeth and the small grunts between each yanking attempt. Mind you this next set of actions happen all within five seconds.
The freezer door flies open.
The handle George was once gripping swings into his forehead at ludicrous speed.
George falls back on the chair.
The chair falls back.
This happens so fast George has no time to stop smiling.
The back of the chair crashes into a few pieces as it hits the kitchen floor.
The freezer door swings slowly back and forth.
George lays on the ground for a second looking up.

"Jew ok", I asked him. Of course I was laughing my ass off.
"Yeah, stupid chair broke."

13 Nights of Praying - The Big Boy 13

The last few nights have been a reflection of the past. While I pray those were the sorta things that popped into my mind. Before laying down last night, I walked outside and sat on the porch steps. I love the weather this time of year.  I saw a shooting star, a big one. It lit the entire midnight sky for a few seconds. And of course it was my duty to make a wish.
While there were a few things on my mind last night, I just laid down flat on my bed focusing on the future. If I were to pray with these future questions, then who was to answer them? I was clearly debating this argument in my head. Would the world be different if we had our thoughts and wishes answered? Would it provide more stability and would we even have to worry about hope? If I were to wake up tomorrow and have my slate clear of answers, I think his would be a boring place to live. We all have stress, but why worry so much on something that can't be fixed with glue. I'm no expert, but I have woken up lately and just started smiling. It has really made the day whole lot better. However you have to smile, not a fuck off smile, but a real smile. Even if you are just smiling at the ceiling. Laughter works too. Make sometime to laugh while walking down the hallway to brush your teeth. Stop making excuses like, "I just woke up". Smile bitch get your day on! Your future is watching you.

I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite  -  ELF

Cheers,
The Careless Mind