The Times in My Life

I was talking to a friend in Reno last night. This person (whom will rename nameless) is married and has no children. We actually talked on the phone for forty five minutes. I had a feeling something was up. I never get phone calls, execpt from my mom and dad. I guess it's kind of sad. I know it's a two way street. I call someone and someone calls me back kinda thing. I always feel uncomfertable calling, my thought process is always ticking -

"Hello"

- Am I calling at the wrong moment.

- They are probably busy, are you busy?

- Oh you're eating dinner, as in a meal at the table with your family. Home cooked meal? Yum, fuuuuck.

When I get a call, I stop whatever I am doing. You get my whole attention regardless of what I'm doing. This is very personal to me. You took the time out of your day and wanted to hear my voice or opinion or my yammering.In my ma's chase, I don't really get to talk. It's ok though. It's nice just to hear a voice, instead of *ping* coming from your pocket. Sometimes I put my phone on vibrate. Texts are nice but there is nothing like hearing someones voice.

My friend tonight said it would be great to change places with me for just one day? My imitate reaction was, "Did you marry the wrong person?", "Are you not happy?" I know a few people who are very happy in their married life. My parents are divorced, and I am single. I thought hard why would this person would want my life for a day? A day isn't that bad, I guess. I always messed up in my past relationships (never cheated or any of that matter) I guess we never fit. Oil and water call it what it was. Some were tough hills, but I made it over. This put steel around my heart, I let no one in, I never get hurt. I have come find out there are an abundant of holes in the steel . My friend is scared because there is talk of a kid. Big deal so theres talk of a kid. I live such a playboy life style with my fancy yacht collection, my loose women, and fast cars. It's more like, open a box of Golden Grahams and watching re-runs of Roseanna in my underpants. Although lately, I have more activities on my plate. Fun!

Me - "So, I have to ask, why me?"
"...................................................."
Me - "Are you there?"
"Because I wanna be more like you."
Me - "......................................................"
"Are YOU there, hello?"
Me - "I'm here........................"

I never asked why. Deep down inside, I would like think I know why.