Oh My God, It’s Crocodile Dundee

People are funny. People are missed. Some people don't have a clue. Some people are nice. Some people claim they're nice. Some people go out of their ways for other people and some people just claim they do. Some people ghost out. Some people would not ever do cowardless acts. Some people might think this is a really bad version of Dr Seuss book. Some people will say anything and some people will listen and believe their words. And even some people claim they met Crocodlie Dundee. I am pleased to say I have a friend in Washington who has helped me through this fucked up winter. Everyone could use a friend like mine. She sticks with me on my rollercoaster like no others. I feel like I'm on this roller coaster and I can't get off. Sometimes the tracks disappear, yet I still make it through the ride. And as more and more people get off the ride, I look back and see her waving at me. She wants to go around again and again. As we go on the roller coaster ride every round seems like it gets smoother and smoother and more and more of the track comes into focus. It's as if the roller coaster ride is slowly becoming fun again. It's being repaired slowly and creatively. I know I'll be leaving this roller coaster soon and moving on to other attractions. But for now I must stay on the coaster until it's fully repaired. Whenever I feel the tracks are coming apart, I remember her quote, I just read the sign she posted at the begining of the ride ---"Even the right person at the wrong time, is still the wrong person" --- So why stay on this right? Why don't I just get off and move on? It's because I don't want any imposters to ride this ride. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice get the fuck off of this ride. I also want to make sure that it's fully functional and ready to go. ------ While I truly miss the people in Washington, the weather, the nature, I just need to feel grounded. For the last five years I have seen a lot and I have done a lot. I may only have one heart, but it feels like its been pooped to many times.

I feel sometimes as if my heart just drank a case of Mountain Dew and snorted coke lines off a stripers ass. And my anxiety is that the door with more cases of Mountain Dew and blow. Then my mind is no fucking help at all. It may tell the heart to slow down, but in all reality I will lose focus really fast instead of watching the heart at its most vulnerable. My mind will try its hardest to focus, but then shit like this will happen --- Hold on hard hold on for one more day heart, wait, is that a Wilson Phillips band song. I remember the video with the three sisters they were on top of the hill slapping their legs to the beat of their cringy song, wait was that the same hill that's in the opening credits of the Little House on the Prairie, I only made it through the credits because I thought it was hilarious when the little girl fell down the hill, and I don't know why the producer said let's just keep this in the opening credits, Wait, I think I still have more credits on my Dave and Busters card in my wallet, why I have two D&b cards, fuck if I know, wait, I know, is today the 10th? I need food, but don't feel like cooking (Anxiety walks through the door of the heart and tosses up another Mountain Dew) I need to buy another book, who really buys butt plugs anymore, how do you order a computer online when you don't have one to begin with, My dad's funny he still thinks we met Crocodile Dundee at some geriatric shit hole casino, Paul Hogan who plays Crocodile Dundee would never sign an autograph "To my pal, your mate Croc Dundee", hey mind, let's not ever argue this with dad again, let's just say he's right, do you smell that smoke smells like somebody's burning something, why does my left arm hurt holy shit am I having a heart attack. I just need to remind my heart.

Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was my popsicle stick cabin. That shit took me two weeks in six grade.