I Bought a New Car, Here's the Problem

Over three days I have been making a deal for a new car. I had over 129K on my old car and I just needed something newer, maybe anything with built in blue tooth. I do love my Spotify blasting in this little beast though.

So why so I feel so down? I feel like I am drowning in water right now. My legs feel like they are complete mush. I can't get myself to smile, I feel blue and down in the dumps. All because I bought a car! Or is it? Today I was fine, just working and doing my thing. I know it wasn't an impulse buy, this dumb deal took three days. I have good credit and money was not an issue. I do want to take it out on roadtrips, but deep down inside I don't wanna ride alone. I fear that might be the case. Not to brag, but I know I am a hellava catch. Ok so I might not have my own place, but big deal, who does in Denver? Rich assholes and gold diggers? Probably.

Back in the day I would be cruising everywhere showing that shit off, even if it were a Ford Probe. Worst👏 car👏 I 👏ever 👏had. I know I just miss her, I text but I get no reply. I try to give her space and time. I knew the moment I first saw her I would do anything for her. I come on strong, but I always hold the door open. I may speak to much, but I never lie. I just don't want a (Netflix YOU) "Karen", I have always liked and needed a vivacious spark. Hmmm, just to hold her one more time would be absolutely amazing.  I am not a psycho, if someone doesn't want anything to do with me then fine. I like the chase as much as I like to pull back. I really wanted to tell her what I remembered befor I had that accident, very few people know, but I wanted to tell her. And maybe then she would get me, maybe a little more. I bought her flowers not on Valentines day, but just out of the blue with her favorite colors. I just wanted her to get a small glimmer of what I'm like. Last time she texted me was Saturday. Ha, I know that's not even a week ago, but it seems like eternity. I have asked her to dinner, with no answer. Some might say, dude suck it up move on. Moving on is easy, if you know there was no connection and well I did fall in #^@& at first sight. I swear sometimes you just know. It hit me like a swarm of butterflies. I was hot on the coldest day. I had goose bumps around my heart. I starred like a deer in headlights into her eyes........pause..........one second...........I had to look at my car, this is about my car, not the #(*^ of my life. Car, vroom, it's outside. It's ok she might be thinking of you right now.

I can't wait to pick up my niece for her Daddy Daughter dance tomorrow. I am stepping in for my brother who is overseas now. It is an under the sea dance. I will be dancing and drowning, ha! My boss told me I was a good person, but come on who would really say no? I have to shop for clothes tomorrow and I am horrible at it. Help me!!!!! Hey new car go buy me some sweat clothes, ill buy you and your car buddies around of 5w20.

Good Night

Childhood Education Part 1

Growing up, I learned, not a lot, but I learned..........was eventually better, than I had thought.

Elementary school 
First off I was an easy target for bullies. And for sure, sure I tell ya why. It was third grade, the year I was released out of the hospital. I was in a comma for a month, I didn't even know what the world was, but apparently I remembered  I liked baseball. While I was in the hospital I had to learn to talk, walk eat, piss and deal with the future of pain. I was 7. I was held back in the middle of the school year to 2nd grade. I was mad at the world I didn't even know existed. kids made fun of my walk, but there was nothing I could do about that. So I pressed on.


2nd Grade-

How do you spell the word Children?  Easy remember it's a Child (r)ead (e)very (n)ight

  -I totally spelled that word wrong on my spelling test, but I did spell the state "Mississippi" right. I remembered the "ipp" still makes me chuckle. Stop what ever you are doing at this portion and spell "assertive" out loud. Ready, GO! . . . Stop! Haha ass. Now hold your tongue and say the word purse and ship. Hehe, and that was 2nd grade. Oh yeah and Rebecca peed her pants in class. I didn't care, she was always stealing my scratch'n sniff stickers off of my art drawings of the Three Amigos.

3rd Grade-

My grandfather would buy me candy, mostly Tootsie Pops and fake cigarettes. Little did I know that these were a hot commodity on the playground of an elementary school located in the middle of BFE. The school is out in the middle of a desert in Nevada two miles from the California boarder. I am glad I was caught, because I was good at hustling product out to the childern in the playground at recess. Lord knows what dark turns I could of taken, if I werent't caught. I sold so much candy in the three weeks I felt like I was a millionaire, with my $37. But one day I was swinging on a swing and fucking Rebecca, lady pee pants, stealer of all stickers. Well she leaned up against the pole and started counting. Back in the day we had to take turns on the swings, one had to count to 20. She made it to 20 in like 2.67 seconds. I continued to swing. And adding to her personality list, she added NARC. Some teacher with witchy glasses, charged over with her clipboard firmly clinched with her skeleton hand and smashed against her bosom. I don't remember her name, but man every little kid hated her. She was a 6th grade teacher, who we all thought was kissing the janitor, Mr. Camp. I know that guy did lots of drugs. He looked like Bob Ross, if Bob Ross went to clown school on crack. So, I had my pockets filled with "the goods" I had to do what any dumb drug dealer would do. I had to ditch that shit son! I leap off he swing and ran. A coaches whistle blew. I didn't want to even turn around, I continued to the chain link fence at the edge of the playground. I then emptied my pockets, tossing all my loot through the diamond shaped holes. I spent that afternoon in the principles office Mr. Crows, he later died a few year after that. He OD'd. I retired.

4th Grade-

Math was and is still so easy for me, but I can't stand it. It is really boring, unless it's a musical Venn Diagram. The classroom was always dark, Mr. Troop had a reaction to florescent lights. I think he was always high. It was nice though, I napped and did math a lot. I never really talked to Mr. Troop, the poor guy always spit a little while he spoke. Multiplication of 9's were the easiest. 1 - 9 x 9 will always ad up to 9. 9x6=54 (5+4=9). Pff lol Math.

5th Grade - 

My first real girlfriend, I guess. I found out the hard way never have your permanent seat by a girlfriend in class. There were fun times, but also there a lot of "why didn't you call me" and "buy me stuff". We didn't make it to 6th grade. I also found out that I was pretty great with a violin, but pretty terrible with a clarinet. I also refused to sing John Denver's Sunshine on my Shoulders. I was in love with Beastie Boys. Paul's Boutique was and still my favorite album. I was listening to more music, but I never sang a song to anyone. You are all welcome. Well ok, I have done Karaoke. My parents started fighting  and arguing more. 6th grade was spent in in two different school. That started a whole new group of friends and shenanigans. 

A Quicky: Where is My Mind??

"They call me Mind, Mr. Mind"

*chugs martini*

-Split it out a second later-

*Spit it back into the martini glass*

 "Someone already spit this back into the glass, am I right?"

When I was growing up all I ever heard was "a mind is a terrible thing to waste". Well my mind, like others has it's moments of genius and stupidity paths. It can also become a confused darken mess when the a dopamine hits, I think my neurons have small little light sabers and block that shit. Where my mind screws the pooch at, is when "things I can do" vs "things I want to do". It's like all the battles, that have ever been a battle play out in my mind at one time. People used to tell me they would like to see my thought process, me, my thought process.

Here is a quick video link about tarter sauce from the under-rated Weatherman movie

https://youtu.be/vRaCv5oNQ3w

That is my thoughts process.

My mind is in the gutter, but that is no shocker. To be precise its  39% gutter with 51% being respect. The other 10% is around sometimes, ill let ya know if it tells me. Most normal people drift into the gutter, some more than others and others less than.

You're just like every guy

"MMM no, not at all"  -

I hold the god-damn door open for everyone, I make sure to say thank you, I say good-bye, I tell my fam I love them, I curse out drivers with my window closed, I send flowers, I see people in the hospital, I don't sleep with anyone on the first date, I show my faults, I learn from mistakes, I never hold grudges, I have helped people from suicide, I am a Neil Diamond fan, I get in the way and I stay out of the way, I speak the truth and my heart is bigger than my mind

 Not going to lie here, I have had those moments though. Just not giving two fucks if someone was blowing me while I was live on the air promoting the new Hoobastank album at 10:30pm. I only cared when two weeks later she, the blower, became an intern.

I did, by accident run over an intern who was dressed as a reindeer in a golf cart. I don't think I took anything serious while working in radio. Outside of radio was different, I did try. I remember hosting a candle lit dinner, only to be let down with a no show. Other-times I was so wrapped up in my work at four radio stations, I missed the last day off my grandmother being alive. 

My mind is on moving, picking the right TV, a new car, where the hell is my gum, I injured myself at work, I need a fucking massage, my best friends (couple) are going to be parents for the first time, more lists, less lists, boobies, butts, why did I say boobies, I am not 13, Honkers, that's better, I'm cold, I never get cold, tarter sauce, her, when can I make it to the batting cages again, wtf did I do to my sholder and I am thirsty