I Should Be Asleep .......#3

I should be asleep, but I just got off the phone with my mom after a lengthy phone chat, to I had ended by saying, "It was nice talki....listening to you". She had called me to say sorry. Sorry for the way she was never there to guide me in a direction I had wanted to go in life or school or even to fully back my decisions, even if I would of failed at them later. I could be saying, "When I was 24 I tried to audition for Corky in "Life Goes On"and now I could said I did it and failed, but it felt so good to try it because people were backing me. Instead she would say things that I should be doing. I'm not sure, but if she would of guided me I don't think I would be sitting here writing this. Maybe I am a good example of what not to be.

Parent: Hey Ann, you see that old guy going to school?
Ann: Yeah
Parent: Don't be that guy, he is one lost soul.

So of course I told her it wasn't her fault (4 out of 37 words I got to use in about a 2 hour conversation). She is a great lady, but the last ten years she has lived in the past and regrets. Which I have told her on many occasions that approach to life has no effect on her kids at all. None what so ever, well maybe one, but 2 out of 3 ain't to shabby as a parent. However she got me thinking, to the point where the bottom of my eyes are flooded and I refuse to blink. Not gonna happen. I have sailed throughout my whole life without a leader, mentor, a rock, a shoulder, supporter and I am lost, still. The older I get the less passion for finding dreams vanish. Poof. Ladies? Ha, I have missed at least 4, well as of recently 5 times now. I really let the great ones slip out, they caught the boat. While I just missed the boat. For the last few years I have felt like a man who has been damned. I try to escape in a joke or some random act of goofiness. I think it would of also helped if someone said just one time say that I was good at something, just once.  I am always telling my mother it's always easier to be sad than it is to be happy.

If I was a drunk I bet this blog entry would be a few pages longer. You as the reader (if you had made it this far, you are one lucky person) I'm not a drunk I have only had a few drinks tonight, this Evian is kicking my ass.

Well Its time to fall or try to fall asleep. Last night I had a dream someone wanted to show me something in their bag, I was excited to see it, until they had pulled out a gun and shot me in the face. I fell sideways in a closet with my ears ringing. I laid with one eye gazing forward laying on my side. I never had thought to mention to myself.......I hope this is a dream.

It truly scared the shit out of me. 

I Should Be Asleep.........#2

I should be asleep, but I think it's about time I try some of my own fad diets. I have to much time on my hands at night. The mind starts tick and thinking. I'm not sure if all my bright ideas come in the shower or late at night. I have this bolt of energy for a few minutes at night. Clearly it's a bolt of brilliants on my part.

 Changes!

• I will cut down on eating full strips of bacon to bacon bits
• I will get M&M Airs, the delicious chocolate shell, that's it just the shell
• I will try to cut down on my pillow talks at work, I will leave them on the bed and hope they don't run away
• I will get my erotic (untitled finger puppet) novel published, before I own a lawn chair

Oh, and I have to cut out soy altogether. Lord knows if my bitch tits get bigger I'm gonna have start breast feeding homeless again. Some of them can be so God-damn chatty while sucking on my teet. Not to mention if they make themselves laugh ....... Don't look for me at Home Depot or Jo-ann Fabrics, I won't holla back at a homieless who cut me. 

The word "again" is really an awful word. 

Here is an example from my unpublished screenplay called

"It's Only 37% Finished"

Grave Robber 1

This grave robbing is, pretty fun

Grave Robber 2

Shut up, we gotta find Elves' Sideburns to get into the cult of personalities. Dig up this one.

Grave Robber 1

We shoulda' dung brought a flashlight, I can't even see me blink

Grave Robber 2

Dig fast, you know we left the last remaining flashlight at Arbys.

Grave Robber 1

Gawd, I'd love me some Arfbys.

Grave Robber 2

It's Ar-bys, the f is silent. Ya' Shit whistle!

Grave Robber 1

Hey, I hit something! 

Grave Robber 2

Well Gippering Bon Jon Jon Jovi open the lid.

Grave Robber 1

Aww sweet I think it's a fresh stiff chick, yeekard Bingo Brother!

Grave Robber 2

Do ya (authentic pause) Do, ya wanna borrow my condom again?

Eh, well, didn't I tell you? You probably didn't twice! Ok read it again, without the word again. I'll wait...................................................................freackin' Gone with the Wind territory huh?

If you want to know what is going on or even had the smallest thought of what its like in my head with out drugs......I suppose it look a little like this.
 

Rock over London, Rock on Chicago, and now you know and knowing is part of the battle G.I. Joe

 

I Should be Asleep.....#1

I had found a new friend with the night time. The Night Time! We started sharing this bond when I was working in radio some years back. So, I have always stayed up late, sometimes we have a threesome with the Rain. Ha, go figure.  Now that I think of it, what hell have I been doing all these years? Staying up late, well, I should be asleep, but instead I dug out my Nintendo 64.

 The system that proved to everyone that controls could look like the pointy end of a pitch fork. Only to rest ten centimeter away from the lower abdominal region. Every N64 game cartridge was grey with no damn label on the end. This means, if you have a stack of them, you would have go through every game. Conker's Bad Fur Day was one of the last Nintendo 64 games. Basically a squirrel wakes up from a hangover goes on an adventure fighting shit monsters and replenishing his life with bottles of booze. Funny story and clever writing is a far cry from its almost impossible controls.

I flipped through 37 games. I found Super Mario 64, the game known for its terrible awkward camera views and bright yellow stars. The basic object is collect champagne colored star, trah-la-la through the castle, pick up Boswer by his tail spin him in circles so hes to dizzy to speak, unclog the toilet Luigi just plugged, collect more steeeers, and save Princess Peachypants.

     I should be asleep, but I have only collected 79 stars (there could be more) and I need to drop off Luigi at rehab in the Shyguy level. He has overdosed on Toad's psilocybins tea. Maybe tomorrow I will hunt down a Laser Disc player. Because God knows I love to get up half way through a movie and flip the disc!