Let me first start out by saying, I don't hate. I just tend to dis dis dis dislike a few things, a lot. I think people in general are good. However some tend to do some damage in their lives. Some of it is repairable and some of it is just irreversible. The only things I can honestly say I hate are my idiot mistakes. They make me feel discouraged and careless at times. A feeling of hopelessness lingers over at times too. In these times I catch myself starring. If a wall is painted the color blue. I ask myself, "Why is this the color blue", or "Is it just amazing that I can see". Then I start thinking about everything that is blue. Captain Crunch wears a blue hat.
Captain Caveman, Captian Crunch, and I were riding the Greyhound to Smipiko Valley. A (bob) grimm dark place haunted with a few wanna-be ghosts. Captain Caveman had a runny noes so Captain Crunch took the liberty of caring the Caveman's club and a bottle of Madd Dogg 50/50 to an abandon Wienerschnitzel building. I tipped the bus driver two dinner mint and used copy of Roseanne season 3 on DVD. The one where Darline gets her first period. Then the bus driver told me to watch out for knife jacking pumpkins.
"In May, it's so blue today?"
"Yes, all year my friend", the Greyhound bus driver slammed the door closed.
The bus very slowly drove off a cliff a few seconds later. I quickly checked my pockets for my opened pack of Fun Dip. Praying to God the bus dust did not make it into my cherry portion. There was a hint of monkey in the air as I caught up to the Captains and swirled my crazy stick in the cherry powder. We walked into Smipiko Valley. Captain Caveman was not looking good, it may be the altitude that is effecting him. Caveman was currently recovering from many years of rage and a ridiculous porn addiction. I was puzzled with Captain Crunch, he on one hand was quiet, never seemed to change his clothes and his blue hat. I was dieing to wear it, or at least try it on once. I was walking ahead of the captains to get a view of the valley ahead. In the distance I saw a Blockbuster. Now I dis dis dis dis dis like BB and its outrageous prices. The way they try and sell, sell, sell, sell, you old Bonkers Fruit candy. When the only thing you went in for is a copy of something they only have 3 copies for and its the first release week for that copy! SO it's option B get the next thing. When asked, did you find everything ok, and your reply is NO. It shuts up the employee real fast. Blockbuster is a company that should be gone soon. As a former employee I look forward to that day. Viva La Blockbuster. Although on the bright side it will be safe for Captain Caveman to go in. Blockbuster has no adult sections. I still have my blue name tag from Blockbuster. I worked in the Las Vegas store with, we will call him Redskins. He was a Cowboys hater, and I hated the Redskins. On a Thursday night at 10pm, when there were two hours before closing we would -
- Run next door to Krispy Kream and eat donuts
- Throw around a football in the store and knock down movies
- play Scar Face on the display TVs
- take turns taking naps in the break room
- I was a cool careless boss
- We would set up fake accounts with bad ass names
More things I should not confess here too. When I moved back to Reno months later I was told it was turned into an Auto Zone or Long John Silvers. MMMMMMM I must say I have a weak spot for a few things. One of them being Long John Silvers. I know the place reeks of old people and vinegar, but the hush puppies and chicken planks. Oh man that is some good shit. Although the last I had this deliciousness, I was in Denver. I went through the drive through window, ordered, went home and set it down on the table. I do like clean hands. Did I forget to tell you I smile before I dive into my Long John Silvers? Well, I do. I am washing my hands in my bright yellow bathroom with the stupidest grin on my face, awww yeah LJS is just moments away from my mouth. I turn the water off, dried my hands, and I as I turned my body the top half turned and went forward. However my feet were a few seconds behind and as they were catching up, my right pant leg was caught. This caused the bottom cupboard door to open and my left had nowhere to go. I fell over the cupboard door. I fell so fast my elbow slammed into the door jam then spinning my body in a small circle. A second later the top half of my body is laying in the hallway. I can'yt move my arm. The scent of LJS is echoing down the hallway and I can't move to get up. Sampson the bulldog comes up to me licks my face, farts then leaves. The fart blocked the mouth watering chicken planks for a few minutes. This I thought was the kindest fart. Sampson knew I was in pain and hungry, he cured my hunger. About an hour later I was on my feet and sadly my LJS was cold. I threw it down the garbage disposal, put on Cat Stevens, held my head low and flipped the switch. However the garbage disposal was broken. Somehow it became a graveyard for shot glasses. I am really not a fan of this color blue, I don't mind midnight blue, but come on man! Blue? Ok just for the record all babies are ugly, until they can walk or start talking or start reading the Wall Street Journal. And you can get the Wall Street Journal delivered to your house for one flat rate. I know this because I learned it from you. We can dance if we want too. I was asked the question,"Would you like to be invisible or fly"? I think I would like to just float around. Like a few inches off the ground. This would allow me to chew gum and walk at the same time safely. I could fall or jump off of cliffs or buildings. I haven't quite figured how I could sit-float and move at the same time though. I guess I need to learn how to float first. OK my eyes are telling my mind they are heavy and that they are so fucking special. Good Night
