Lately, overthinking. Sometimes I feel like I'm murdering my brain. I suppose in small doses I've always been the thinker. Why? I want to be the best me possible. I want what is best for other humans. I like to be enough and not an alternative nod of, ehh. Tonight I asked a friend to ask me questions.
What are 3 things I first think of when I wake up?
1. I question my sleep.
2. Beth, she is the game changer I have been waiting for, all my life.
3. Shower, eat and drink
What are 3 things I am grateful for?
1. I have a love hate relationship with my heart. On one side it cares and on the other end being passionate can cause trouble with out thinking. (If you love your boat and being on the water, without thinking, you could easily leave the oars at home)
2. Music, it should sound clique, because it is clique. I have a tendency to listen to certain songs on repeat. Right now it's all depressed sad songs - Switchfoot "the bones of us"/ Daughter "Medicine"/Manchester Orchestra 'Capital Karma" just to name a few......I'm currently not sad, a bit numb, but not sad.
3. Great friends. End of story
What are 3 things I am scared of?
1. Continuous Failure - after 37 times, give up and move on. I'm proud of myself for trying.
2. Dying without being loved. I know we all die alone, but how about one person really loving the shit out of me, just love me just being me. The dork I am. I like to think I'm lovable. I am certainly capable of taking care of that given love. I don't put anyone on a pedestal, thats where love belongs.
3. My leg getting worse as I age.
Where is 3 places I'd like to visit?
1. I'd like to see the world best waterfall. A waterfall surrounded in nature. A waterfall where I can play in without being swept in a current.
2. The worlds largest ball pit. Arcade, Rollercoaster. I love amusement attractions.
3. I would love to go to New York City during Christmas. I love the lights, atmosphere, the happiness......not so much the cost, but I'd defiantly wanna go.
3 Random Things
1. I applied to appear on the negative three cent stamp. I did this because I hate my heart sometimes and it gets in the way of my brain. I wasn't thinking when I applied, I just knew in my heart it was the best thing to do. But in the end it was not smart. I end up owing more after applying.
2. Her voice
Her kind words
Her silent amour of rich sounding promises that sweep over me
They have found a home, nuzzled in my heart
3. Rockstar Lemonade (Yellow cans)
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