October 3, 2013?

Why do we name our pets?

Should we name our children after pets?

Lassie?
Benji?
Air Bud?

We should name our plants after exs (or is it exes?).
Some plants are dumb.
When buying a plant we tend to make careful decisions.

Because one of two things will happen.

a) You take care of it and it will consume your whole house
or
b) You neglect it, you loose interest, it dies, and you toss it to the curb


Even your little one Odie will agree you made the right decision after hearing the local news report of a few poinsettia arrested for luring dogs into a red bus.

America! Fuck you plant, fuck you.

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October 2, 2013

I will try and give candy away before Halloween at work.

I am currently 210 pounds.

I work at admission, location, downtown Denver on campus.

Our department thought it would be fun to put on a weight challenge for the month of October.

For a small fee of five bucks. The winner will receive sixty bucks. Sweet!

As of today, 9:42 am I have packed on 20 calories. Thank you yellow can of Rock Star.

I bought a super-big bag of candy last night and a spooky Halloween bowl.

I will try and give candy away before Halloween at work.