The NFL Predictions of 2014......way better than

Well the NFL is almost back ........all 31 teams
ok, 32 if you are counting the Jags.

I will have to work on my font control this year, I swear! By the moon and the stars.... So I hope All 4 One is not stuck in your head. If so my job is have way over. Now to the better half, last year I picked the Seahawks and Ravens. So I will go with my gut feeling this year too. Who and what is out this year?

• The old Dolphins logo - Now its a sunny gay fish, Do you like fish sticks?
• Arron Hernandez - Good!
• Faith Hill - in is the dreadful Carrie Underwood (unnecessary Sunday Night Football intro)
• (lets cross our bibles) Hopefully the malfunctioning Tim Be-blow-blurrrr 
• Vikings chances
• The always entertaining replacement Refs

So here is my crafty (or crappy) predictions this year!!

AFC - American Football Conference

EAST - Meet the "Transformers (1, 2 & 3)". Just like Michael Bay, this division is nothing but dicks!

*Miami Dolphins *- (10 - 6) - Sunflower-sunshine dolphins and all of the Sea-world power will beat and win the division over the Patr (I dont even like to spell their name). Beefed up D works, ask gum enthusiast Mike Ditka.
*New England Patriots* - (9 - 7) Brady is carted off the field with conjunctivitis, Brady can still suck-it! (still trending from 2013)
Buffalo Bills - (7 - 9) Here Comes Honey Buffalo Bill Child.....train-wreak, yet in some ways they are slightly entertaining to watch.
New York Jets -  (5 - 11) No worries, some how, some way Adam Sandler will put the whole Jets in another one of his shitty movie.


NORTH - "The Departed" Who's good? Who's bad? The peaking order. Only one survives.

*Cincinnati Bengals*  - (12- 4) Staff Sgt. Sean Dignam
Baltimore Ravens - (8 - 8) Francis "Frank" Costello
Cleveland Browns - (8 - 8) William "Billy" Costigan, Jr.
Pittsburgh Steelers - (6 - 10) Capt. Oliver Charles Queenan


SOUTH - "The Internship" They once had a good talent, but sadly, forgettable!

*Houston Texans* - (10 - 6) The Texans, Carr needs to be more like Iron Man and less like Tonto.
Indianapolis Colts - (8 - 8) Houston may of just monopolized this division for awhile.
Tennessee Titans - (6 - 10) Fisher phone home? Houston we have several problems!
Jacksonville Jaguars - (3 - 13) The Houston Astros would get their only away win playing theses messy Jags.

WEST - "Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood"

*Denver Donkeys* - (11 - 5) Pirated Cristal 
*Kansas City Chiefs* - (9 - 7) Bud Light

Oakland Raiders - (6 - 10) Crip Juice

San Diego Super(lame) Chargers - (4 - 12) Watered down oyster milk

   NFC - National Football Conference

EAST- "Spaceballs" Ranking this division is as easy finding a ring with laser in a Cracker jack box.

*Dallas Cowboys* - (10 - 6) Yogurt! "The kids love this one"
Washington Redskins - (10 - 6) Dark Helmet! "I bet she gives great helmet"
New York Giants (G-men) - (8 - 8) Lone Starr/Barf "I'm my own best friend"
Philadelphia Eagles - (5 - 11) Colonel Saudurz "That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole."

NORTH - "Return to Oz" Darker, crazier, and a bit better than it's predecessor   

*Green Bay Packers* - (11 - 5) From domination to fail-anation, Rodgers still has weapons. The steam has been running out by playoff time though
*Detroit Lions* - (10 - 6) Don't be shocked to see the Lions and Chiefs in the Super Bowl, not in my lifetime, but it may happen.
Chicago Bear - (10 - 6) Cutler is almost that good, but is still that awful
Minnesota Vikings - (6 -10) You must rebuild Oz, the Wheelers will run over the Vikings.

SOUTH - "Now You See Me" If you are that good, you will stop *poofing* off! 

*New Orleans Saints *-  (11 - 5) Getting the coach back was a good thing, stopping Brees from pulling a play out of his helmet a better thing. 
Atlanta Falcons - (8 - 8)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers - (8 - 8) These master magicians put on a show every Sunday. Which Freeman, comes out to play? We will never know, maybe by the fourth quarter.
Carolina Panthers - (6 - 10) Cam in slow motion would look great in toilet paper commercial with Bread play over...... 

WEST - "Into the Wild" at least two of the four teams will be tough, you decide which two.....

*Seattle Seahawks* - (13 - 3) Again, my Super Bowl pick and Winner this year!

*San Francisco 49ers* - (11 - 5) Is their D as good as last year, fingers point to Dr. Noway Jose

St. Louis Rams -    (6 - 10) The Jay Leno of football. Only old people really like you.

Arizona Cardinals - (5 - 11) Slurped up and raw left-overs from the 2013 Raiders. Oh yeah that's a good sign, headed in the right direction, arn'tcha'.

* Play-off teams

Bye teams
AFC - Bengals, Donkeys
NFC - Seahawks, Packers

Super Bowl 2014 

Vs.

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My 5 Favs From the Atari 2600

Growing up, there were three things that really made me who I am today. The Garbage Pail Kids, The Three Stooges (late night on Turner Broadcasting Company) and video games (the Atari 2600 being my very first system) have all played a role in my childhood growing up. Cartoons were also high on the list, but as a kid would you rather watch a cartoon or be in control of a colored square head shooting Tic-Tac shaped bullet out of a cannon? The Atari also have the first adult games. Although hilarious to watch the game play now, they were never developed into great game play.

Remember: Use Paddle

#5. (Tie) River Raid and Spy Hunter

These two games are basically the same game. Spy Hunter has the cooler music and you drive a car. River Raid has the better game play and you drive a boat. In both games you go really go nowhere, but up the screen. Fun and challenging though. Also having plenty of gas will get you further in both games. Eat yo beanie weenies!

#4. Moon Patrol

I don't like to fly, so why would I like flying games (Defender, Defender II, Astroids). Thank God for Moon Patrol a game that moves as fast as I do. AND, it's on the ground! Well, a moon actually. Pew! Pew! If you never have played Moon Patrol, you should its tons of fun. Soooo much better than those lame Motorized Capsela science discovery thinger toys.

Some crazy shit going on! Zap! Zap!

#3 Centipede

The only reason I'm not putting Donkey Kong is on my list is, I can play Centipede for a longer time frame. F- Jump man and all his glory before becoming Mario, I'm ready to defend something from a swirling large centipede and his buddies a bouncing spider and a coke fanatic scorpion. Sounds like my recent camping trip.

Ready to defend...

#2 Kaboom

Kaboom is simple. Catch the bombs in the basket. Sounds easy. Looks boring. Ok fine let me try. It pulls you in! And four hours later.......Kaboom goes the brain!

http://youtu.be/lwrZHu-d-vY

Pretty sweet screen shot huh?

#1. Keystone Kapers (Kops)

This by far was the most challenging Atari 2600 game I ever played. The game is located in a three-story building. I always thought of it as a mall, because of the escalators and the one elevator. You are a bumbling key-op who is running after a bandit all awhile dodging planes and shopping carts. Fun puzzle game with action. I only hope that Johnny Depp will play the mute bandit some day.

Not really suuure which way that key-opper walking