Saturday, February 3, 2024

Time For a Self Evaluation Part 1



2024 has been one big pile of crap. So far. January 2023 was the fucking best time in my life, I found the girl. The girl who I wasn't looking for. Now, today. The same girl barely talks to me. I'm still in love with her. I am a Libra, very emotional, caring, odd, funny and sometimes I can let my heart lead when it's the brain's job. I have been way too sappy, clingy and an all around sad sack. I do not like this version of me. I have let my emotions run wild. It's as if I am walking on a path and the distractions around me have drawn me off course of goals, hopes and dreams. I feel like I'm always looking beyond the important things in front of my face. I tend to leap ahead, anxiety and overthinking has almost ruined me emotionally. I need to slow down completely this time. I have disconnected myself from a few social media platforms. I have had a few issues with reading into posts and stories too often. My imagination can cause serious self trauma, and over time I have been accustomed to broadcasting my feelings through social media. I do not use it to my advantage nor am in a business that needs it to survive or advertise. There are a few features I have left on, a Snapchat and my Twitter feed. I have also turned off my ringer and notifications. I want my life to move forward without the constant mind numbing scrolling and/or alerts letting me know that I got an email from Amazon telling me to buy this product that I don't need, but it is on sale, so therefore you must open the email now! Well from this point forward I don't want that crutch anymore. I love taking pictures. I love how the fog is resting in the background but there's a clear view in front. It almost has a perfect balance of wet and dry. And as the dirt road veers off into the right ahead, the atmosphere plays with the imagination of where that road leads up to.  



I need to feel more grounded. I started yoga. I am terrible at it, but I love playing cornhole on the weekends. I got myself a gym membership, I plan on working out 3 days a week, this time I am going to track myself. Back on track